Ladies in Red

While visiting a friend in Tucson several years ago, Sue Ellen Cooper impulsively bought a bright red fedora at a thrift shop, for no other reason than that it was cheap and, she thought, quite dashing. A year or two later she read the poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph, which depicts an older woman in purple clothing with a red hat.
“ When I am an old woman…I shall wear purple with a red hat, which doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me…”
Sue Ellen felt an immediate kinship with Ms. Joseph. She decided that her birthday gift to her dear friend, Linda Murphy, would be a vintage red hat and a copy of the poem. She has always enjoyed whimsical decorating ideas, so she thought the hat would look nice hanging on a hook next to the framed poem. Linda got so much enjoyment out of the hat and the poem that Sue Ellen gave the same gift to another friend, then another, then another.
One day it occurred to these friends that they were becoming a sort of "Red Hat Society" and that perhaps they should go out to tea... in full regalia. They decided they would find purple dresses which didn't go with their red hats to complete the poem's image.
The tea was a smashing success.
Soon, each of them thought of another woman or two she wanted to include, and they bought more red hats. Their group swelled to 18, and they began to encourage other interested people to start their own chapters (18 women don't fit well around a tea table). One of their members passed along the idea to a friend of hers in Florida, and their first "sibling" group was born. The rest, they say, is history.

To be a member of the Red Hat Society, you must be a woman at least 50 years old (or you may be a Pink Hatter if you’re under 50). You must attend functions in full regalia, (red hat, purple outfit for women 50 and over or pink hat and lavender outfit for women who are younger).

The founding member of any chapter is called the “Queen.” The Queen is responsible for finding other women in her area to form the chapter – and come up with an original name. There is no limit to the number of women each chapter can have and there are no by-laws to worry about. The activities depend on the chapter. Teas, dinners and desserts are very popular. Other groups go to performances such as the symphony, ballet or civic theatre.

The “Kal-Joe Red Hat Mamas” resulted when several women from St. Joseph and Kalamazoo Counties got together. The chapter was an outgrowth of another chapter in the Kalamazoo area.

“My sisters, my niece and myself had attended a few meetings with the other chapter and discovered that we desired more varied activities than what that chapter was able to offer, said Pat Eikmeier. “After much cajoling by my sisters and niece, I contacted the main Hatquarters via the website and declared our intention to begin our own chapter. As a result, I became the Queen Mother…also known as Queenie and Your Royal Pain-In-The-Hindness.”

It seems that the sillier the title, the more fun is had with it. “We have elected ‘officers’ to our club, as well,” said Eikmeier. “We have a Royal Recordesse (secretary), a Hysterian (photo person), Our Lady of Levity (the jokester), and the Gracious Guardian of Anxiety.”

To clarify, she provided the responsibilities for these offices:

Queen Mother: Presides over all get-togethers. Acts as a contact person for the chapter. Maintains chapter registration with the national website. Collects dues and monies contributed to the chapter. Graciously accepts the laud and honor bestowed upon her by the members of the chapter.

Histerian: Creates and maintains a photograph album documenting the chapter and its trips and activities. Is responsible for taking photographs of each member as they join the chapter...whether they like it or not! Is responsible for bringing the photo archive to every meeting.

Our Lady of Levity: Is responsible for seeing to it that no really serious conversations take place at any meeting. She shall squelch any talk of diets, illnesses, trouble at work, arguments with spouses or children, etc. In addition, she shall come prepared to every meeting with at least one joke to share with the group...the cornier, the better.

Gracious Guardian of Anxiety: Is responsible for creating and guarding the "Anxiety Depository," a beautifully adorned box which shall be used at each meeting and into which members shall deposit written statements of any and all anxiety which they have carried to the meeting. Should she hear of any anxiety producing conversation during the meeting, she shall dispense, with all haste, an anxiety form to be filled out by the member and placed directly into the depository. If this does not curtail the anxiety producing conversation, she has permission to execute the offender by any means she deems appropriate (Provided, of course, that this does not produce any anxiety.)

Royal Recordesse: Is responsible for recording information pertaining to upcoming meetings and anything else she feels like recording. Is also responsible for maintaining a current list of members with their addresses, telephone numbers and e-mail addresses (when available). She shall also act as the keeper of the royal pen, which she will have to create herself, and which shall be as ostentatious as humanly possible. In addition, she will need to design a royal notebook to go with the royal pen.

While most Red Hat chapters are loosely-formed organizations, the “Kal-Joe Red Hot Mamas” have developed a motto and a purpose statement which serves them well. The motto is simple: "Life is short...eat dessert first!" The purpose statement reinforces the quest for fun: "Unlike other organizations which purpose to change the world, save endangered species or find the meaning of life, we purpose to do nothing of any real significance, but have tons of fun doing it!"

“When our chapter began, we vowed that no woman would be left behind just because she couldn't afford to attend an activity or didn't have a red hat and purple outfit,” Eikmeier said. “Our members donated funds which are used to assist those who may be short of funds, and we operate a ‘closet,’ where women can choose from a number of hats and outfits which have also been donated.

The ages of “Kal-Joe” members range from the mid-30s (called Pink Hatters or Ladies-in-Waiting) all the way through to the 70s. Some still work jobs outside the home, others are retired. Regardless of their age differences, they all embrace one another as sisters.

“At the present time, we are in the process of checking with all our members to ascertain if they will be continuing to participate in the chapter this year,” she said. “Once we've determined our ‘active’ members (those who attend a minimum of six meetings per year), we may be able to open the chapter to new members. At present, we have 30 ladies listed on our membership role. However, we do anticipate that several openings will become available very soon.”

The “Kal-Joe Red Hot Mamas” enjoy all sorts of activities including dinner at area restaurants and outings at the Kalamazoo Kings baseball field.

“We even made the Channel 3 News on that one...the sportscast featured a clip of our group dancing in the stands after a run was scored by the home team,” Eikmeier said. “After talking with the team manager, we were also able to have our photographs taken with several members of the team. It was a great time for all!”

The chapter also participated in the St. Joseph County fair parade in’04. “We rode on a float and sang our chapter theme song as we tossed purple and red candy to onlookers,” the Queen Mum reported.

In February they joined another Red Hat chapter from Three Rivers at a performance of "Three Men and a Tenor" at the Three Rivers Performing Arts Center.

In March, they’ll revisit their youth with a sleep-over at a member's home in Portage where they plan to play games, watch movies and pig out all night long.

“Of course, everyone is required to come in their purple pajamas (or lavender, if they are Ladies-in-Waiting) and bring a snack to share,” said Eikmeier. “We have all been blessed by the friendships and support we've received from one another. It's a much needed break in an otherwise hectic world...full of laughter and love!”

The “Dining Divas” of Kalamazoo was formed in September ’03 by Myrna Shelley, the chapter’s Queen Mum.

“Our initial group had five red hatters and three pink hatters,” Shelley said. “Our goal is to see how many restaurants we can visit in and around Kalamazoo. We have no agenda except to have a good time and take care of ourselves and our sister red hatters.”

The “Dining Divas” now has 17 members (13 red and four pink). Each woman has her own official title, including Dutchess of Hummingbirds, Baroness of Frogs, Hyserian-Keeper of Scrapbooks and Mistress of Grace.

“Others will be named when the mood strikes them,” said Shelley.

A retired Bronson nurse, Shelley has been married 45 years, has two daughters and five grandchildren.

Pat Harding was given a Red Hat birthday party by her daughter last June. “She presented me with the membership and many gifts,” Harding said. “It was a nice gift because that started long-lasting friendships wherein we have a lot of fun.”

Harding is now the Queen Mother of the “Chatty Hatties” at Klines Resort in Three Rivers. The group has 10 members who meet actively in the summer. During the winter, Harding lives in Clearwater, Florida, where eight additional woman continue their social friendships.

The “Klassy Kazoos” were inspired by the kazoo – the musical instrument associated with the city of Kalamazoo. Bernadine Simpson is the Queen Mum.

“We have 12 in our group and we meet once a month. We are less than one year old, so our history is brief,” Simpson said. “We have toured the Kellogg Mansion and gone to Noel Restaurant near Grand Rapids.” The group also took a trip to the apple orchard to pick apples and go on a hayride.

The “Kazoo Royal Rubies” has a diverse group of women, ranging in age from 50 to 82. The group was founded in March ’04 in Kalamazoo and has grown steadily ever since. Judi McMillan is the Queen Mother.

“We have a wonderful group of women. We are fairly new, so we haven’t done much traveling yet,” McMillan said. “We did take a trip to Middlebury and Shipshewana in November for some Christmas shopping and had lunch at Essenhaus. We hope to take more of those kinds of trips this year.”

Membership to the “Kazoo Royal Rubies” is still open, although McMillan said they’re getting very close to the size they feel is most manageable.

The “Bitchy Old Broads” are in their second year in Kalamazoo. “We are called the ‘Bitchy Old Broads,’ though we don’t think we’re old and we’re not ‘bitchy’ all of the time,” said Her Royal Highness Queeennn Beeeeee Marianne Tindall.

“We do laugh a lot; sometimes till we have tears rolling down our cheeks and gasp for breath. We don’t gossip, but we do get ‘sarcastic’ once in a while. We usually don’t drink, but we do once in a while. We definitely do not smoke, nor do we say anything to be hurtful to anyone.”